A stranger in a strange land

From the first time I arrived in Ganeshpuri in November of 2019, it has felt like coming home on a very deep level. On my second trip, that feeling was amplified by the villagers welcoming me back, and by reconnecting with the friends I had made the first time I was here. That feeling of coming home was supported at Yogini's bliss - the guest house where I stay. Yogini Ma held a special place in my heart from the first time we met. I was so happy to stay in her home and spend time with her.

Yogini spoke English very well, as did her house manager, Karan. There were other guests staying at Yogini's home that also spoke English. I felt easily understood, or had someone close by to help me be understood. About three week after I left last year, Yogini died. I am so grateful I had the time with her that I did! Her son, Sanjeev has taken over the guest house, so when I was preparing for this journey, I made my arrangements with him. I was delighted to find many of the same staff taking care of the place that were here last time. And Sanjeev's English is excellent. In fact, he prefers speaking English over Hindi and Mahrati, which are the local languages. He decided to call me Kelly, rather than Kushala. I didn't respond when he did, because no one in India calls me Kelly. LOL!

Sadly, Sanjeev had to leave just a couple of days after I arrived and he won't be back before I go. He encouraged me to make myself at home - it is my place now. The novelty of that wore off pretty quickly after I realized that nobody at the house spoke English very well. Suddenly, I was struggling to make myself understood in a way that I had never had to do in Ganeshpuri. A couple of days of that left me feeling lonely and isolated, and very much like a stranger in a strange land. My friends that speak great English were out of town, and I was running into challenges being understood by my friends that were here. I didn't realize how alone I was feeling until I was teaching my first online yoga class. By the time we got to the Namaste at the end of class, I was in tears. I underestimated how good it would feel to speak English, hear English, and be easily understood.

I posted this picture on Facebook when talking about my online yoga class and it sparked this great conversation with one of my yoga sisters. (Shout out to Sudevi Soraya Pereira with much gratitude and love!) She related to how I was feeling and shared how it felt for her coming to the US from Brazil. She shared some of the freedoms she felt by not being able to understand the people around her. Freedom from judgement, and a loss of the ability to put people into boxes. Her share really helped reframe things for me. What I became aware of was the silence inside that came from not understanding anything that was being said around me. I am a big eavesdropper - I find other people's conversations so interesting! And, it's easy to get caught up in what they are saying, or in the story that my mind writes about what they are saying. Suddenly, all that was gone.

I realized that my conversation with Sudevi had shifted me from looking externally, where I felt alone in a strange land, to looking internally. Inside, I am experiencing a spaciousness and peace that I find in meditation, but it's there all the time. It's actually always there all the time, I just lose my awareness of it once I start engaging in life. Here in Ganeshpuri, it's so clear and tangible, whether I am sitting on my meditation seat, walking down to the temple, or eating a meal. What a wonderful experience!

The experience of being a stranger in a strange land served me well. I met a fellow traveler from Australia. When she found out that I was from the US, she asked me if I had ever heard of Svaroopa® yoga and Swami NIrmalananda. LOL! Did you know that there is a Svaroopa community in Australia? What a very small world we inhabit. Yesterday, my new friend was really feeling like a stranger in a strange land. She showed up at my guest house in distress. I hugged her, empathized with her, fed her (well, Puskar fed her and me), and gave her an embodyment. When I asked her what she was aware of at the end of the session, she said she felt safe. Wow. I helped her feel safe in this foreign country. Suddenly, I'm the one with the inside knowledge. I'm the one supporting her as she acclimates. That shift removed those lingering feelings of being a stranger in a strange land. I didn't realize what a profound effect supporting someone else would have on me. I'm not sure why I didn't realize that. I always say, support equals release in life just like in yoga. The gifts just keep coming as I ride the river of Grace!