The eternality of discomfort

I am not feeling 100%. It started a week ago when I got a case of Delhi belly. I suffered for a couple of days before I remembered the medication I brought with me to address this very illness. Three days of medication, and my belly was back to normal. But, my feeling of invincibility was gone. I had made it through two trips and 1/2 of this one without getting sick. I was feeling like I had it all dialed in. I did not.

At first, I thought I caught the bug from the kitchen at Yogini's. The morning I started feeling sick I had a delicious, but greasy breakfast of uttapam. Uttapam is an upma pancake. Upma is a hot breakfast cereal made with rava, similar to cream of wheat. I overdid it on the uttapam, and didn't feel right after that. My confidence in what I was being fed, as well as the chef's ability to care for a western belly, was shaken.

It was suggested to me that perhaps it was the place I was stopping by the temple for my morning coffee. I did not like that suggestion! I love the place I was stopping for coffee by the temple. I love every piece of my morning routine. But, after I got over my resistance to the suggestion, I looked a little more closely the next time I was there. I saw how the dishes are washed - in a tub in the back room. I saw how the man preparing my morning coffee cleaned himself, or rather, how he didn't. I realized the potential truth in that suggestion and changed my morning routine.

I asked the chef at Yogini's to make me dal kitchari, and that is what I ate for lunch and dinner for three days. Dal kitchari is very easy to digest, and is made from dal and rice. It was quite basic, and just what I needed. I am grateful that my bout of Delhi belly did not render me incapable of enjoying the activities. I was sick when I visited the yoga class at the Ganeshpuri school. I was sick during Holi, not that you could tell from looking at the pictures. LOL!

On the second day of taking medication, my left knee started hurting me. It's not a new pain - this left knee discomfort. I know what to do to address it. Embodyment® - hand position 1, and sitting in my "working" meditation pose. I haven't been doing either of those things since I've been in India. There are no Embodyment® therapists here, except me. And I support myself in my "working" meditation pose with more props than I have available to me here. I did bring three blankets and two blocks, but that's not enough to provide the same propping I use at home. So, I'm doing the best I can to take care of my body in these less than ideal circumstances. The physical discomfort is having an effect on my comfort walking and sitting. I'm doing less walking as a result, but the sitting is hard to avoid.

I am equally as diligent with taking care of my mind. That's where the real challenge lies. I don't know about you, but when I experience physical discomfort, my mind tries to write a story about how this is the way it's going to be now. Forever. I know that's not true, and my mind makes a compelling case for why it is true. Oh mind! Does that happen for you? What's the story your mind writes when you are experiencing discomfort?

Here's the thing... the bliss is still here. It hasn't gone anywhere. It's always inside - heck, we're made of bliss! I find it so interesting that my mind never tries to convince me that when I am feeling bliss, that's the way it's going to be now. Forever. What's up with that, mind? Here I am, made of bliss, in this land of bliss, and my mind tries to grab onto the thing that is not bliss and make that my reality. Hmmm... clearly more mind management is needed. I am not my body, nor my mind. I am the eternal bliss of the Self, and that will never change. You are, too.

Thank goodness for my yoga toolbox - full of different ways of managing my mind and taking care of my body. While I can't use the tools that have worked in the past right now, I have many other tools and combinations that will have an effect. Perhaps the most important tool of all is my ability to focus on the bliss - again and again, until again becomes always.